That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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