Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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