fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
