Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
