I wanna passion pit in your ass
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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