ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
