thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
