We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
