so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
