kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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