Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize