Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have fence marks all over my body
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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