Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
