good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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