i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize