where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
