What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
