remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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