I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Text me some of your sweat
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
