so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you win again, gameday.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize
