when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
