My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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