Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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