My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
