ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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