You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
