I wannas sexs uuuuu
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
