what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
