we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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