That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I bet he comes in French.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
