ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
