I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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