After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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