I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize