Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
