I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she peed on how many people?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Randomize