i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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