Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
