I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
