she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
