Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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