Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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