So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
