69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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