Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
