Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
