My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
