I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
pop tarts are not kleenex
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
