Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
