No, you can still breathe under the balls.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
