Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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