there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
