Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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