I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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