Only a mothe r could love this liver
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
