Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
and she was petting her beer can
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
