He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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