the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
