He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
