p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
