I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
