So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
